What Should I Weigh

hi…
atm i am really stressed out and my focus is everywhere but where it should be. and these past 3 years, life has just been going downhill so fast that i just don’t know what to do. im not sucidal far from that but i am machostistic…always have been… this is going to be more of a rant but please give me ideas of what i can do.
will give a brief summary because some things i feel really uncomfortable on saying and just was to give an idea of whats going on.
couple of years back i have been sexually attack as a minor which i am over now but is still a scares me. within the same year nearly (thank god nearly) kidnap and cousin was nearly dragged along with me while on holiday (she now refuses to go out anywhere with me…she is too scared…such bad luck i bring) even though wasn’t successful was violent and ppls ignorance is simply amazing seeing how it was a summers day in the middle of a city anyways…
then last year my uncel dies of stomach cancer, my little friend aged 4 who i use to take care of was killed in a hit and run getting out of school, my mate gets caught in the middle of a gangwar fight and dies and then my neibours sweet granny dies (who i liked very much) one week after the other which was upseting which was made even worse to the fact that my mum made me stay in school (not being able to go to a single funeral or meet up with my own family) and would punish me if i cried. so no more tears for me…
later that year ******* tries to push me out of the car while driving fast (and then runs over my leg after he stopped and i fell out)…
more… my mate getting mugged by a group of secondary school kids and getting put into hospital. (got them back tho) another mate getting put into acoma because of A RIGHT DIKE! and then tryin to return, yet again getting attacked again moving then out of the country. Also a gd night out at my friends bday party ending badly and having to run away from…u can guess…so many stupid ppl.
my best friends aunt goes through the same thing i did and because she couldn’t deal with it she lost her job and many more things. my cousin had a shotgun wedding and mum invites them to stay at our home and they turn everything upside down along with ruining gd family friend relations. there was also a terriost raid to my building due to neighbours along with countless stories(all this while i am doing my gcse’s btw)
that summer was realtively peacfully nothing out of the ordinary something gd happens which turned into the biggest mess the start of this year. my youngest bro born this year due to medical negligence no matter how much the deny it caused my bro to have quadraplic dystonic celebral palsy along with other problems that come with 02 starvation. medical team worked wonders afterward no denying that but still unforgivable. mum obviouly stayed with a sever depression and now out of hospital i take care of them both along with doing alevels. And then them allowing them home for the 1st night before my exam…speaking exam so ya that went good (got an A) but then when my mum allowed him to have 2 operations without my knowleage and going to the hospital and seeing him on the ventilator all bloody before a day of exams again which was chemistry, didnt go so well) these are A level exams and i got no extra marks or whatever you can gain.
I have had to stop several people commiting suciede themselves even if it meant leaving home in the middle of the night rushing them into hospital and getting punished afterward…(even though i think its worth it saving lives is better than not due to fear of punishment…)
…and then there is the general stress of doing 5 alevels were the norm is 3. silly me for doing more but earlier in the year i could handle this fine but everything seems to be building up on me now. Also my friend suddenly died of a heart attack age 17 who was previouly health day before this christmas eve.
i have 6 exams in january and i have not been able to focus at all. when im at home its taking care of brother and unstable mother along with domestic chores (which are especially important because of his weaken immune system of all his respitorial problems, feeding problems so on) and when i do finally leave everything i am too tired to read a revision guide (because my college can’t even afford text books for 4 people) and i can’t afford it either even with a job which i use the money to help for house hold. i get NO help from school what so ever and i am an ill person myself and in winter i am especially worse with the hospital keeping an eye on my health (well not really they tell me to come in wait hours for a 10 minute vist) even with medical notes the college says that i have been a truant and have been getting lower grades than i should with having a meeting with the head teacher who had the cheek to tell me that i would not be able to get into a university and i will not succed in life. which i found extremly harsh